Crisis Plan supporting couples when one partner struggles
1. What I Notice First (Early Warning Signs)
These are the signals that tell me I am becoming overwhelmed.
In myself (thoughts, emotions, body):
In my behaviour:
In my relationship (patterns, triggers, dynamics):
2. What Helps Me Slow Down (Grounding & Regulation)
These are strategies that help me reduce intensity and reconnect with the present moment.
Body based strategies (breathing, posture, movement):
Mind based strategies (defusion, naming the process):
Compassion based strategies (soothing, self talk):
Relational strategies (what my partner can do):
3. What My Partner Should Know
How to support me without taking over, fixing, or escalating.
When I’m overwhelmed, I may look like:
• What helps me most in those moments:
• What does not help:
• A simple phrase you can use with me:
• “__________________________________________”
4. Our Agreed Couple Signals
Short, clear cues to prevent escalation and protect connection.
My signal that I’m struggling:
• My partner’s signal:
• What we both agree to do when a signal is used: (e.g., pause, step away for 20 minutes, return at a set time)
5. My Values: What I Want to Move Toward
Values help guide action when emotions are intense.
The kind of partner I want to be:
• The kind of relationship we want to build:
• One small values based action I can take even when distressed:
6. My Safety Steps (If Thoughts Become Dark or Suicidal)
These steps help me stay safe and connected.
1. Acknowledge the experience:
• “Something in me is overwhelmed right now.”
2. Move to safety:
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3. Use grounding:
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4. Delay action (10 minute rule):
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5. Contact someone:
• Partner: __________________________________
• Friend/family: _____________________________
• Professional support: ______________________
(This plan supports safety but does not replace crisis care.)
7. Things That Help Me Feel Connected Again
Small relational repairs that restore safety and closeness.
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8. Things We Agree to Avoid During Crisis
Behaviours that escalate distress or conflict.
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9. After the Crisis: Our Repair & Reconnection Plan
How we come back together once things have settled.
When we will talk:
• How we will talk (tone, pace, boundaries)
• What we want to understand or learn from the experience